Be like a river

Life is a wandering; it is not a settlement, you have to go. It is a constant flow, river-like – you have to flow till the ocean is achieved. But the journey to the ocean comes naturally to the river. There is no planning for the ocean; the river does not know. The maps don’t exist for a river, of where the ocean is. And the river has no discipline. Sometimes it goes to the south, and sometimes it starts moving to the north, and sometimes in one direction and sometimes in another direction. Have you ever seen the zigzag path of a river? It is not straight. It is not economical. It is not mathematical. It is not the shortcut at all – very zigzag, just goes on, not knowing where it is going, just goes on because the energy is there to go. And one day the river reaches.

If the river is planning, then it will find the shortest route, then it will move in a straight line, then it will never deviate, then it will be very consistent. But then it will not be a river. Maybe a canal, a man-made canal, but it will not be a river. It won’t have any freedom. Canals are ugly. Rivers are beautiful.And life is a hilly track. Move in freedom, move in total freedom, and each moment remember to drop the past. It accumulates like dust. Each moment you have experienced something, and then it goes on accumulating. Don’t accumulate it. Just go on ceasing as far as the past is concerned, dying as far as the past is concerned, so you are totally alive, throbbing, pulsating, streaming, and, whatsoever comes, you face it with awareness.

Synthesising Happiness

We have been evolving since the last two million years , and one significant change that has taken place is that our brain has tripled in size. It was not just simple fat that was added but also the structure of our brain changed. The frontal lobe was added in which is something called the pre frontal cortex. The major function of the pre-frontal cortex is an experience simulator. With an experience simulator – you can have an experience of something before you actually try it out. Just like pilots have to go through flight simulators before they are allowed to actually fly a plane. So, you can experience something in your mind even before you actually do it. And by the way no animal can do this, no other species on this earth can do this and it is a unique quality which only the human species have the privilege to have.

Lets try out a simple experiment, I want all of you to imagine & try to simulate such an experience - 2 situations – 1st situation – You win 10 million (whatever currency you want) and 2nd – you meet with an accident and become permanently disabled. In which situation do you think you will be happy? I don’t think you will need even a second to decide your preference.

But there has been extensive research conducted on this and the results are very interesting. A person having actually won a large amount of money after about a year’s time and a person who became disabled after a year, the level of their happiness or unhappiness is more or less the same. So why is that? We need to understand two things – First what is called “The impact bias”. Now what is this impact bias. It is the tendency to overestimate the impact of future events. Let us take a few examples of future events - getting married, passing an exam, winning an election, getting a promotion – all these events have far less impact, less intensity and much less duration than what people expect to have.

Second is that we human beings have some kind of inner system that helps us to change the view of the world that they we find ourselves to be in. We can actually synthesize or manufacture or produce happiness but we are under the false illusion that happiness has to be found. Sir Thomas Browne wrote “I am the happiest man alive, I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity and I am so invulnerable that fortune has no place to hit me”. Also Shakespeare has said “There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so”.

Be the master of your own destiny, synthesise happiness, spread happiness -it's all in your hand.

Our Collective Responsibility

Our universe is about 14 billion years old, our planet is about 5 billion & the human species is about 200,000 years old and therefore as far as the evolutionary history of the universe is concerned, the human species is still in its infancy. For thousands of years we, human beings have survived due to the fight or flight response, but then this response became so well ingrained in us, we have now become the predators on this planet. But there is a saying – a permanently victorious species risks its own extinction. The time has come to replace “survival of the fittest” with the “survival of the wisest”. Predatory relationships have to be surpassed by symbiotic relationships if we have to move further into our next phase of evolution. It is now our collective responsibility to nurture the very web of our existence, our eco system.

Very soon, the playing field for violence will be considerably reduced; soon the superpowers will become irrelevant because conventional weaponry & warfare will not matter. As technology becomes more sophisticated in its diabolical creativity, a single individual with a mobile phone sitting in some remote cave anywhere in the world may be able to cut off electricity to some place, or hijack a plane or interfere with air traffic signals or suffocate people who are on pacemakers or cause the nuclear plants to leak – all this just by moving electrons inside a mobile telephone. Modern capacities and ancient habits is a devastating combination. This is a moment of crisis because we risk our own extinction. If insects disappeared from our planet then all life would stop within 5 years because insects are such an important part of our ecology that we just can’t do without them but on the other hand if human beings were to perish today, then life would flourish on this planet. And nature would simply say that “Human beings were a good experiment that didn’t work”. Technology by itself is neutral, it all depends on us what we do with the technology. We can use the technology to restore the ecosystem, to bring economic empowerment to the poor, eradicate poverty, to create cross cultural exchanges through fine arts – books, poetry, music, entertainment, to harness the power of collective intelligence.

So, now it is up to you and me and all of us to spread this message of becoming responsible for our planet, our eco-system and our environment. If all such like minded people connect and communicate with each other, then one day together they could form the tipping point from where mankind would take a giant leap forward and completely transform this world.

Don’t just do something, sit there

We live in a world stuck in fast forward, a world obsessed with speed, with doing everything faster, with cramming more & more into less and less time, every moment of the day is like a race against the clock. All of us are running a race, trying to reach a finish line and the finish line is like a mirage, it vanishes when you come closer.

These days it has become a fashion, a craze, to do everything fast, earlier we used to read now we have speed reading, earlier we used to walk, now we have speed walking, earlier we used to dial, now we have speed dialing, earlier we used to date & now we have speed dating. Even things which are by their very nature slow, we try to speed them up too. We are trying to grow test tube babies; we are experimenting with cloning and so on and so forth. But the ultimate was an advertisement I saw in a newspaper “Enroll for speed yoga”. The most current example is this blog that I am writing, I am writing about how to slow things down but have this impulse to finish it off fast. What a paradox!

We are so marinated in the culture of speed that we fail to notice the toll that this takes on every aspect of our lives, on our health, our diet, our relationships, on community, on our work, on the environment. And then what happens - it takes a wake up call for us to alert us & tell us that we are hurrying thru our lives instead of living our lives, living a fast life instead of a good life. And for many people this wake up call comes in the form of an illness or a burnout, eventually the body says I can’t take it anymore or a relationship goes up in smoke. The only way to nurture a relationship is thru’ constant communication but unfortunately we don’t have time to even do that. How much time do we have even for our most loved ones?

So how did we get so fast & is it possible or even desirable to slow down? Factors that have contributed to this fast culture are technology, urbanization, consumerism, but if you cut thru all this you come to some basic issues like how do you perceive time itself. In the west time moves in a linear path, you either use it or lose it. Benjamin Franklin said "Time is money", whereas in the eastern culture time moves in a circular path & can even renew itself.

Why is it so hard to slow down? – and the answer is - well speed is fun, speed is macho, speed is hot - all that adrenalin rush –it's hard to give it up. Slow, has become a cultural taboo in modern times, slow is a dirty word in our culture -slow is equated with lazy. But we desperately need a paradigm shift, so a better way to understand slowness is that there is bad slow and good slow. An example of "bad slow" is getting stuck in the traffic on a weekend evening when you are with your family and longing to reach your destination. An example of "good slow" is to take your time in office to analyze a problem from all angles before taking a decision.

So now the big question is - is it possible to break free from this mindset of doing everything fast? & thankfully the answer is yes. The paradigm of “fast is good” is changing now, and people are finding that slowing down can actually improve their lives, you can eat better, sleep better, make love better.

All over the world, today we have movements for slowing down; a good example is the movement in America and Europe to decrease the number of working hours per week. And they have proof of this - not only does the quality of life improve, even their productivity goes up. If some of the people here in Qatar especially the ones working in contracting companies would come to know what the working hours of people in Finland for example are –they would turn green with envy. More and more companies these days are encouraging employees to take a break, to unplug and sit quietly for some time because that’s the only way to recharge yourself, to rejuvenate yourself and the only way for your brain to slip into the creative mode.

So next time, you feel you must rush out, go somewhere, do something – my advise is –Don’t just do something, sit there!!

The everyday blessing

All women have desires, right? But what is that one desire that is common to all women? To become slim? To own more jewellery? Or is it to find the best anti-aging cream? No sir, none of these. The singular most common desire for all women is – to have a good and faithful housemaid – no, not a good and faithful husband – a good and faithful housemaid.

I am telling you this from first hand experience. I have seen women from two generations ,my mother's generation and now my wife's generation. And women from both generations continue to have this phobia which I call – maidophobia. Maidophobia can be defined as the fear and the panic that grips women as soon as they come to know
a) that the maid is going to be absent today or

b) that the maid has resigned from the job.
The after effects of both cases is devastating to say the least.

The reasons that the housemaids come up for remaining absent is amazing. Recently, I had been to India for my brother's wedding & one morning I saw my mother answer the telephone. Suddenly, her facial expression changed, she looked worried. "What happened mom" I asked. "Our maid is not coming today" said my mother. "But why?" I asked. "They have elections in their area". "But what is the relation between elections and her not being able to come" was my immediate reaction. My mother explained that during elections, these men and women get a chance to earn upto Rs 500 per day including free food and also some free liquor for the men. The only work that they have to do is to attend election campaigns and be a part of the crowd. The ironical thing is that the same people are the crowd for the ruling as well as opposition parties.

Personally, for me, the absence of the maid always has dire consequences, What happens – Firstly - my wife is in a bad mood because she has to do all the household work - washing and cleaning and so on. And I am assigned two tasks – both I hate - 1) to do the vacumming of all the rooms. And 2) to help my kids clean up their room. On one such occasion, as I was disentangling the wires of the Playstation and trying to arrange things properly, my son came running to me and said "Daddy, I can't find my socks & belt". And then began the quest for the missing socks and belt which lasted for more than an hour. I finally succeeded, but that day I learnt the real value of the presence of a housemaid.

Do you think that only the corporate world faces the problem of employees resigning? Thousands of households are affected when their housemaids leave them for greener pastures. But hats off to my wife - she has devised a foolproof strategy to retain our maid. She has done 2 things - (i) painted an extremely grim picture about all our neighbours to our housemaid, telling her stories about how they ill treat their housemaids etc. and (ii) she has told our neighbours that our maid is so busy with other part time jobs, that it is indeed a miracle that she is finding time to come and do our house work. And let me tell you, her strategy is still working.

Friends, in this so called modern day and age, we have all the gadgets – washing machines, dishwashers, vacumm cleaners, mixers, grinders – the works. But we still need somebody to operate them on a daily basis. Don’t we? But don't worry - the housemaid profession is here to stay and the next time your doorbell rings early in the morning – and you see your housemaid from the peephole – thank the Lord – because she is indeed a blessing who comes to your doorstep everyday.

A trip to the barber shop

In India nothing is ever well defined and my recent trip to Pune for my brother's marriage brought forth several instances. Here's one which cost me Rs 350.

When I went for a haircut & asked how much they would charge for a facial, I got a reply "Aapse zyada nahin lenge sahab" meaning "We won't charge you much sir". And when I wouldn't accept this statement as an answer to my query, I was told "If we use sandalwood, it will cost Rs 180, if we use fruit it will cost Rs 250". I opted for the cheaper option and instructed the guy accordingly, but to my surprise after about 5 minutes, the fellow came up with a suggestion - "Aapke chehre ko bleach chahiye" - "Your face needs a bleach". The tone in this suggestion was such , that getting a bleach done was a most essential thing for me to do. And I almost had no chance of refusing. But more was to come. A few questions about me & he knew that I had come to India to attend my brother's marriage. So after my haircut, he said "Sir, your hair is not dyed properly. There's a function you have to attend, please allow me to colour your hair properly". He assured me that he would do it so nicely that it would appear natural etc. etc. He was almost playing on my emotions now and while I knew that he was going to fleece me, I relented & let him proceed. After everything was done, I had no option but to pay his bill of Rs 350.

Mumbai's Lifeline

The prime business areas and major offices of both government and private institutions are all located in South Mumbai and the working population reside in areas quite far away from here, in the "suburbs" of Mumbai. Around 6.5 million residents of Mumbai travel to work using the local trains and this is the daily average & so it is no wonder that the Mumbai Suburban Railways have the highest passenger density in the world. Due to the ever increasing population and the influx of people from all over the country who come to Mumbai to realise their dreams, the local trains have to cater to the transport needs of all these people. A 9 cubicle (or car or bogie) train which is supposed to carry about 1700 passengers is forced to carry 4700 passengers during peak hours. People working in banks, private shops, corporate offices, government agencies, schools, colleges, Bollywood film industry, factories, workshops, garages, hotels, restaurants and many others rely heavily on the local trains and if the trains stop working even for a few hours, life in Mumbai virtually comes to a standstill and leads to chaos, confusion, anger, frustration, stress and sometimes it can also turn into a violent situation. It is therefore only apt to call the Mumbai local trains as Mumbai's lifeline.

And when I landed in Mumbai and started working, I found out more about the local trains. They have a culture of their own. The jam packed cubicles, the heat, the sweat, the clamour, those everyday fights to catch seats, getting in, being vomited out, struggling for that wee bit of extra leg space and elbow room.

There are so many things which are unique about Mumbai local trains.The rakes are designed to seat three people per unit bench installed. However, the brotherhood of Mumbaikars has an undying spirit and has given way to the ‘Fourth-seat’ concept, specifically in the second-class compartments. It is an unwritten law that the people who are lucky to get a seat during the journey will squeeze themselves and allow the fourth person to perch at least 25% of his bottom on the seat. Sadly this fourth-seat concept is yet to penetrate the stiff upper lip culture of the first class compartments.

A large populace of women in Mumbai work, a majority of them out of sheer compulsion as one earning member is not sufficient to support the family. And one has to really appreciate their planning and multi tasking skills. Some ladies actually start preparing the ingredients for the evening dinner by cutting the vegetables in the trains!

Some long distance commuters have formed "Bhajan Mandalis" or "Devotional songs Friend Circles". Equipped with the deity's framed picture, cymbals and their own voices, these groups sing away to glory trying to forget their stressful lives by immersing themselves in the bhajans. Their cacophony also results in passing on the stress to some fellow commuters who are trying to sleep or talk on their mobile phones.

Thanks to the technology boom, more and more commuters are entertaining themselves by listening to their favourite music on their pocket sized MP3 players and some even watch and listen to songs on their small mobile phone screens. Some read books, some solve crossword puzzles, some talk on their mobile phones, some sleep, some just observe others and some are lost in their thoughts, but all have one thing in common, all want to get the hell out of the train and are just waiting for their destination to come.