When I wear a branded shirt, I
feel good about myself, so the shirt is making me feel good about myself, I don’t
feel good about myself. My notion of my self-worth and self-esteem comes from
my shirt. I feel good about myself when I sit in a Mercedes or a BMW and I feel
terrible about myself when I have to travel in an auto rickshaw. If your self-image
is poor, you depend on a brand to feel good about yourself. Actually our
survival needs are very less but our needs for significance are infinite. So 1
house, 2 houses and even 20 houses are not enough. The focus is on what I have
and not on what I am.
What is the difference between a
house and a home? A house is a physical structure and a home is an emotional
structure. You send a child to school assuming that the school will impart
values. A school will impart school values but not give home values. Values don’t
come from what you are told but what you see. And when a child comes home from
school what does he see. He sees that his father is not at home, he is working
late to earn money and the mother is engrossed in watching soap operas. He sees
that parents value money and entertainment over him. So this atmosphere at home
creates a subconscious layer of belief in the growing child that money is more
important than relationships. And this plays out in the future.
My friend’s mother is 70 years
old. She stays alone in a 3 bedroom apartment. She has 2 children, one in Dubai
and the other in London and they send her lots of money every month. But the
mother feels that her sons have abandoned her. Flashback several years ago –
this mother would scream at her children and tell them that if they did not get
good marks, they would not get good jobs and would not get a chance to go
abroad to Dubai and London. So now the children have grown up, one is in Dubai
and one is in London. So why is the mother complaining – isn’t this what she
wanted?
We live in a world full of
conflict. Even the TV serials and reality shows that do not have conflict have
seen their TRP ratings go down. And conflict begins when the child who has
passed out from college is unemployed. We pass comments – “Are ye to kaam nahin
karta – nikamma hai” “This fellow does not work – he is good for nothing”. The
conflict continues even when he gets a job because then he is compared. Oh you
earn only 10,000, look at so & so, he earns 15,000. Look he has gone to
Dubai. So this conversation – the young man begins to realize that this is what
my value is. My value is how much I have in my bank. He gets a sense that the
amount of love that he will receive from his family and society will be in
direct proportion to the money he has. Money has then become a currency for
love. And this is most unfortunate thing to happen.
We must realize that property is a delusion. If
you get it, enjoy the delusion. If you don’t have money or property try to
learn why you don’t have it. And when you learn, money will follow. Realize
that money is one of the important things in life, not the most important thing
in life. It is also money and not only money.